Awwwwww shit it’s that time again! Unfortunately I have to be the bad catholic and not get ashes today. Didn’t get a chance at lunch and I have to work tonight so I’m going to settle with being a heathen. BUT with Ash Wednesday I’ve decided to bring back a favorite of mine to write, Fast Food Fish Friday! OK so today isn’t Friday but it is the start of the lent season. The rules are a bit different this time…

1. I will be eating fish from anywhere in Pittsburgh that I can make it to and back during my lunch hour so its not nec. FAST food fish. I’ve hit all of the chains I can think of.
2. Britney Spears just came on XM. write your own joke.
3. I spent so much time in Cranberry I really don’t know where anything besides fast food is. What are some places (downtown or out West preferred)  you would go for fish? No churches!
4. heheehe Britney
5. Trying not to do the staple Pittsburgh places (Wholeys, Benkovitz) but might end up there

So to kick things off I went to McDonalds today which was also featured in the original Fast Food Fish Friday project. Just like 3 years ago this is just bad fish BUT I had a Shamrock Shake to wash it all down. Mass produced fish, tart tartar sauce and a guy who’s lactose intolerant drinking a MILKshake. This isn’t going to end well around 3pm today is it?

Now to get things off on the right direction watch Mikey & Big Bob’s ode to the Filet O Fish

Click here to view the embedded video.

Oh, what did I give up for Lent? Nothing really. All parents get a break until their kids leave for college. Serious. Its in the updated bible.

There you have it, possibly the last of the Fast Food Fish Friday unless I can sneak one more in for Good Friday. Frankly I’m sick of fish by this point so I found it only fitting that I would end my adventure to a place known for fish, Long John Silvers.

You may recall that my first trip ever to LJS was this past Ash Wednesday and also the first time seeing “Dave”. Well Dave wasn’t here this time but surprisingly I get emails telling me they’ve seen him and to prove to you that he does exist, here’s a pic that was sent to me from the Strom Huelsman Podcast of Dave in action. Dave is a pimpdawg.

Now, your sammich… the bun is exactly what you would expect of McDonalds. Sesame seed bun. In fact it wouldn’t surprise me to find out they’re in bed together doing the nasty. The lettuce was shredded whichI was fine with because it was fresh and crisp and even the tartar sauce was a nice creamy flavor but the fish… SWEET JESUS was it good. I don’t know what batter they use but this was one awesome ass piece of fish. Yes, awesome ass. I snapped a piece of the deep fried cripsy goodness off and could tell that I had finally found my winner. Now because of the options that Sheetz offers I can’t say that it surpassed it so I’ll nail this one down as an A and 1/2 +. The fish was better quality but the overall sandwich experience was much better with Sheetz. Now if you don’t have a Sheetz by you then go to LJS.

Oh yeah, the buttered lobster bites are still hella insanely good.

Long John Silvers website

I’m taking this to video for Lent 2009.

Next Friday, if I don’t do fish, will be a special video treat for the holiday.

cheers!

When I started this I really didn’t have high expectations. I was doing this as a fun Friday activity and to twist all of those stuffy food reviews in the paper. Today though, I ate a slice of fish heaven and unfortunately, unless you’re close to the state of Pennsylvania, you’re not getting one of these.

Sheetz is a very large and very popular convenience store chain in PA. Most alcohol drinking adults in their 20-40′s know the wonders of the 2am Sheetz Death Dog ($.99 chili nacho hotdog). Their subs kick Subway to the curb and are less expensive. So I figured I’d give the fish a shot.

The world has come to a halt. This is hand down the BEST sandwich ever made by man. Why? Because YOU make it! Via touchscreen you pick the bun and toppings on top of a perfectly crisp and golden piece of fish. I’m not kidding you, this is THAT good. Just look at the pictures! All toppings are fresh and you see the employees make each one in front of you and take their time unlike the other joints. I didn’t have breakfast and not knowing how big the sandwich was I ordered 2 with different buns and toppings. I’ll stop typing and get to my toppings. Oh yeah, best – fastfoodfishsandwhich – ever!

Grade: A+

Sheetz Website - http://sheetz.com/

My 2 sandwiches:
(on the left) On a corn dusted bun – tartar sauce, tomatoes, lettuce, red hot sauce and provolone cheese

(on the right) On a pretzel roll – ranch dressing, lettuce, tomatoes, pickle chips and hot pepper cheese.

I admit that if I had to pick one fast food place to live off of it would BK and their Whoppers. Unfortunately the area I live in has 2 BK’s and they both suck. Not like “hey man you SUCK!” but “goddamn this food sucks.” Being a fair man I headed there this afternoon for lunch so that I can report back to you, my fellow readers who kill time at work on Fridays.

According to the BK site: “MASSIVE BK BIG Fish Sandwich commands satisfaction with a crisp golden breaded 4.3-ounce fish filet, tangy tartar sauce and fresh lettuce all served on a corn dusted bun.”

The Facts
No way in hell is this a) big or b) 4.3 ounces. It looked more like someone took what was once a bulky piece of chicken and laid it on the floor, stepped back a couple of feet and jumped on it heel first. BUT it was still crisp and golden. The tartar sauce was tangy and not all that bad. The lettuce is a fallacy and ranked up there with Wendy’s buffet quality.  Corn dusted eh? THAT’S what the crud was all over my fingers.

The Taste
Why is it that a renown BURGER joint can screw up every order I place for a Whopper but yet NAIL the fish. OK, aesthetically it was mediocre but this sammich is backed with flavor. The buns were light and moist (even though covered in corn crud). The fish had little to no “fishy” taste and when biting in could see that it wasn’t some cheap processed white mesh.

Grading: B+ (the visuals kept it from an A)

There’s a good reason why this is being posted late today. McDonalds has wreaked havoc on me. The deliciousness of McD’s has spent the last 4 hours punching me in the gut. The bun was soft and fluffy. The sauce wasn’t caked all over, the cheese and square piece of fish were pretty damn good. I know, “it’s McDonalds for christ’s sake” but the fish is a better quality than in the past and had an A until 30 minutes later when I’m curled up on the couch in pain from this sammich. I can’t even stomach (wow, no pun intended on that) to talk about it further. Maybe they served me blowfish or something pulled from the Mon.

Grade: D (even sickness doesnt get you an F)

Hoping to cash in on the wallets of us catholics this Lenten season, Wendy’s came out with the “Premium Fish Fillet Sandwich”. The picture on the website shows a bulky piece of perfectly fried fish under a blanket of fresh lettuce and a hearty helping of tartar sauce. The website describes it as “Hand-cut fillets of North Pacific cod in a crisp Panko crumb breading, served with crisp lettuce and creamy tartar sauce on a warm bun. Now that’s a great-tasting catch.”

In reality it was a square cut piece of fish with cheap restaurant $3 buffet quality lettuce and average quality sauce. Thinking this may have been thrown together in haste I looked around and saw 2 people in line with me and maybe 4 cars in drivethru. This is one BAD case of the ad looking nothing like the product. Does it ever really? The description was way off base too.

The only saving grace was that the fish itself was very tasty. If you look past all of the crud that Wendy’s did to the rest of the sammich it’s a good piece of cod. Plus for me was NO heavy fish taste but that part could have been already burned off my toungue from the sauce.

I was ready to give it a C to C+ but then I had my first drink of Coke post first bite. I literally threw up in my mouth. These 2 do NOT belong together! I had the coke prior to eating so I knew that was OK. I don’t know if it was from the grease they use but typing it now is making me feel ill.

The things I do for you people, I swear!

Grade: C- (and that’s generous)

I know you’re expecting a video but starting today until Good Friday, every Friday will be a review of fast food fish for those of us who have no choice. Well, I have a choice, I could eat pasta or soup but then I couldn’t bitch about having to eat fish and where’s the fun in that?

The cajun wasn’t overpowering and added a nice spice kick. The shredded lettuce was a nice touch but it couldn’t cover the fishy taste to me which I don’t care for. It did flake nicely and the crust wasn’t hard to bite through. A slice of cheese might have made up for the fishy taste or another head of lettuce. Did I mention the strong fishy taste? I know this is the first place that I’ve visited but I was impressed the fillet looked like a real piece of fish and not a processed square.

The Lenten special was 1 sammich, an order of my favorite curly fries and a medium drink. For around $5 that’s not too bad.

Grade: B+