R.I.P. Kevin and Bob – The Derda Fish. A Father’s Journey Into Pets

Oh we barely knew ye but the amount of joy you brought to our boys could never be measured. You were an inspiration to all of us in the Derda family even though your time with us was short… in fact you guys didn’t even make it 24hours.

Wait, can I get some kind of refund here?

Kevin and Bob - The Derda Fish

Everyone knows that goldfish from a church festival never last more than a few days and I expected that out of Kevin but Bob, WTF dude?

Monday night when I get home from work the fishies were swimming, the kids were singing, rainbows and unicorns were everywhere. Ahhh the life of an awesome dad.

Wait, what’s that horrendous screeching?

My kids are wailing “OMFG WHAT IS WRONG WITH OUR FISH?!?!” “WHY GOD? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?” from the living room. (OK maybe that was a little dramatic on my end but still.)

The kids got their first lesson on death, pets and expectations you should set when you win a fish at a game that is $1 for 7 ping pong balls. What I didn’t expect was that a trained professional at a pet store would lead us down the path of eternal sleep.

Shortly after we promised the boys their friends would have a proper burial in the “porcelain chute to Heaven” (thank God they don’t think EVERYTHING we flush goes up) we headed to Petsmart in Bethel Park to see what we could do. I’m not comfortable going into stores where I have to deal with salespeople on topics I don’t know about but the staff was absolutely amazing and patient while the 2 grieving wiener kids ran around trying to convince me to buy a shark.

Yes, a shark.  Didn’t happen.

Since we’ve never owned fish the young lady spent time explaining that you couldn’t “Just pour tap water and dump them in. They can handle it.” like the previous store did, she talked to me about testing the water, what types of treatment we need and which fish are compatible together. Apparently they have gangs like the Jets and the Sharks.

At the end of the night we walked out with 2 new Tetras, a better understanding of fish/water ratio and what to look for. If you’re keeping score at home, the $1.00 spent to win the original fish ended up costing us $57 to date.

Once the little guys grow you can stop over and say hello to our new family members, Speedy and Bob the Fast Fish.

 

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