The evil goodness of Elf on the Shelf

Elf On A Shelf


I am convinced that Elf on the Shelf was created by Catholics because of one simple reason, we nail it when it comes to guilt trips. Rumor is my mom has her PhD in it but I haven’t seen the paperwork. I’m sure my brother won’t disagree with me either.

If you’re unfamiliar with the little guy here’s a quick overview. Santa sent Elf to sit at your house and report back to him if the kids have been good or bad. At night he moves to a different spot and you can’t touch him or his magic goes away. In other words, it is the best device a parent has to calm the kids butts down before Christmas.

At first I was skeptical if it would work (and I find it a bit creepy looking) but now that both of my kids are in prime Santa believing mode I can’t image not having him as a part of our family.

Yesterday my wife pulled off a move right out of the sinister parenting handbook. We noticed that the boys moved Elf and we had to act fast. This morning when the boys woke up they found Elf in the Christmas tree with a bag of snacks and a letter from Santa.

The letter read:

“I gave Elfie back his magic. Please don’t touch him again. You need to try and be good boys all the time.


P.S. You’re back on the nice list!”

My oldest was freaked. He told me he was sorry for moving the Elf and that he promised to be a good boy. His little brother made a fart sound with his mouth and laughed.

So guess who had 2 perfectly behaved kids today?

OK, that’s probably a bigger myth than Santa but they were acting better.



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