My blog n'at

I posted on Twitter that I was going to eat one of these bad boys. The reactions were pretty solid.

Lushie: why are you eating that crap. Now you get salad for dinner
jlknott: Man. I’ll miss you when you’re dead of a coronary infarction.
chachisays: that looks glorious.
k9radiotiki: Get out the defibulator…STAT…
burghbaby: I’m rather impressed you survived that adventure.
w0m: most impressive
FunkyDung: Shhhh…You don’t want the FDA’s food gestapo to hear you!!!
jayesel: I can’t believe you bought one! Your arteries are crying out for mercy
ScareHouseScott: Witnesses on the scene of a man’s fatal coronary say his final words were “holy crap is it salty.” Live coverage tonight at 5
TwinmamaTeb: I can hear your arteries crying from here

Here are the nutritional facts and info from the KFC Double Down website:

“The new KFC Double Down sandwich is real! This one-of-a-kind sandwich features two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe® or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel’s Sauce. This product is so meaty, there’s no room for a bun! “

For some reason everyone fears this meal so I figured “eh, why not?”. People, let me break this down easy for you. It’s 2 thin chicken fillets with light portion of bacon, slice of cheese and some sauce. It is better than most things on the KFC menu or in fact most fast food items. Because of its packaging and marketing everyone things this is a death meal when in fact its just a salty gooey mess… wait, that sounds bad doesn’t it.

Anyways take a look at the KFC Nutritional Guide (pdf) and look at the sodium and calories in most of those single items. You order a 2-3 piece meal and you’re already beating out the Double Down.

My Thoughts
Overpriced for the meal. It was very salty, little bacon and the cheese was chewy. I ordered the Original Recipe and thought the chicken was cooked perfect; mildly juice and not dry. Skin and breading was crunchy and a little peppery but again the salt started to ruin it.

I’ve found that each KFC in the Pittsburgh area is different. You never get the same tasting chicken (honestly most are WAY off) and the service is generally bad but the one in Moon Township was a beacon for customer service and a pleasant ordering experience. Whenever I get my KFC shakes I may have to go back, unfortunately it’ll be cold by the time I get it home for the fam.

It has been close to 8 months since our last visit to Childrens Hospital ER so I think Teaspoon was missing it.

Last night around 5pm Teaspoon started crying. Not a “hey I wanna eat” or temper tantrum but pretty close to a regular teething breakdown. (Have I mentioned he has like 10-12 teeth already? he’s a NOM NOM machine!) This went on for awhile so we gave him Tylenol. That didn’t work so we tried Ora-gel.  No luck. We called our Ped’s office and the nurse said that crying for teething can last up to 4 hours (think about that next time you wanna get your groove on single people!). It was pushing 9 so along with being tired he was still cranky. The nurse could hear him and said that sounds more like something else was wrong. She then said the words we didn’t want to hear… “Send him to Children’s. I’m calling the ER to tell them you’re coming now!”

We get everything loaded up and not 2 minutes into the trip he stopped crying. Do we turn around? Do we just drive around? We continue on what would be an hour drive. Not only does night time construction suck but when Lawrenceville is single lane all hell breaks loose. The drive from Cranberry was not a pleasant one.

We get to the ER and it’s about 1/2 full. We get irritated when we find out most of the people are there because they use the ER as a personal doctor’s office and not for emergencies. We get checked in and wait…

An hour later we’re taken back and Teaspoon’s blood pressure is taken. Male nurse says that it should be any minute and to wait in the waiting room again.

Another hour later we’re brought back to a room and told “a nurse will be right over to see why he’s crying”

60 minutes pass and in that time we don’t see one nurse, tech or in fact anyone besides cleaning people. Lushie went to the nurses’ station and there is a guy in the window hard at work shopping for things online. “Oh yeah I’ll send someone over”. 30 more minutes without even a cleaning person and we’re past the point of pissed. Teaspoon has been sleeping and seems to be fine now so we debate leaving. That’s when the nurse shows up and says “well his belly isn’t hard and he’s just sleeping so why don’t we get an x-ray and get you moving.

An hour later (it’s now 3:30am) the doc shows up, gets Teaspoon confused with 2 other kids and then says “He’s a little  his constipated and that’s pushing on his belly. Go home and if hurts him again bring him back.” That’s it. “Go home and come back.”

Now to be fair I understand that someone called off and there were some kids that really needed attention. I’m perfectly cool with that and appreciate these kids can get care but to put us in a closed room for 90 minutes with NO communication was bullshit. The fact that we couldn’t find anyone to talk to besides a cleaning person and the one medical person there was busy shopping online was pushing all levels of irritation and finally the doc seeming stunned that Teaspoon was irritable at 3:30am and constantly confusing us for other patients, well yeah we were steamed and ready to leave. The staff we did interact with was very nice and knowledgeable; the process though was severely broken last night.

Final arrival time home: 4:30am. Seven hours after everything started

Overheard in the waiting room “I can only imagine what the wait will be like when everyone has health care.”

I hope we don’t have to find out for a long time!

I’ll get more this weekend in the daylight but for his first full time of moving around I couldn’t pass it up.

If you can’t see the video go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfvDwVh2JnM

One reason why I’ve been so late on replying to messages or getting anything done is because we found a house. Oh wait… WE FOUND A HOUSE! There, that’s better. Honestly we weren’t even expecting it. We went out a couple weeks ago with about 8 houses on our list and the second to last turned out to be the winner. We put the offer in the following day and within 2 hours we had negotiated a price. That’s when the fun started…

We’ve already gone through the hand cramping marathon of filling out the mortgage papers, the inspection/bug check/radon is done and the appraisal is coming up. Currently we’re in the “OK here’s the shit that needs fixed ASAP for this to work. Let’s talk” phase. The couple we’re buying from seem cool so I’m sure the agents can get this figured out.

Lushie is really psyched about everything. Teaspoon likes the yard. Me? Yeah I’m getting there. I’m excited to be buying our first home and all that jazz but good lord there is just so much that has to fall into place and from what I’ve been told by a few, this is normal. tehjim told me over beverages “This is going to be one of the most stressful, blood pressure raising, pain in the ass things you can do but it’s so worth it at the end.”  So far, yeah we’re pushing that. With both of us working in a job that expected perfect record keeping our realtor has been amazed at how on the ball we’ve been. Honestly, we’re just ready to move out of the rental formerly known as Betty White’s Vagina ceiling. (I have an update on the neighbor who shovled his yard and OTIS coming up!)

If you’re the couple I’m buying the house from, thanks for Googling my name because that’s the only way you’re finding this. Be nice or all of these readers are gonna hunt you down (haha). No seriously, they’re all crazy. Don’t piss them off. I am looking forward to moving someplace new and not being a native yinzer I have to admit that learning the history of something new around here geeks me out. After word got out about where I’m going I found out that I have 7-8 friends close by. Know what that means… uh huh, MOVERS!

We can’t get too far ahead of ourselves though. Lushie and I have a long way to go in this process so just keep your fingers crossed and your prayers coming. Either way we’re moving somewhere and I have a ton of stuff that needs donated or given to someone on here (right Uncle Crappy… the table). That is another post I need to get working on.

One thing that I have learned over these last few months of house searching is that observing your potential future neighbors is key. Granted this isn’t the only thing to inspect but it is important. Check out their yards, see if there is anything trashy hanging around or if its well maintained. Look for empty bottles or cigarette butts (if that thing bugs you).

I haven’t been updating as much as I originally anticipated for one reason, we haven’t found anything that was interesting from the daily emails and searches on realtor.com. About a 2-3weeks ago we came across a two places within a couple blocks of each other and figured we’d give them a shot. First house was 4BR 2bath. TON of space and things were really up for it until we hit the basement/game room.  Exposed pipes from fallen tile, bathroom ripped apart and severe water damage. The sellers report also said the showers dont work. Lovely!

The following house we went to is where the magic happened. Nestled in the back of a cul-de-sac was this really great 3BR 1Bath with decent size backyard. There was some water damage but the incredible hardwood floors and other amenities were making up for it. I looked out the front window and noticed that this neighbor appear, standing cross-armed and staring right at the house. Figured it was odd and shrugged it off. We finished looking at the house and went outside to walk around the back. There was the guy again. this time he followed us but stayed on his side of the property line. Now I’m paying more attention to detail. This dude is probably in his late 60′s early 70′s. Was dressed in white tube socks jacked up to his knees, shorts that were up to his bellybutton, white t-shirt crammed in side of that, had a fluffy white mustache, sunglasses and to top it off was one of those hard safari pit hats.

I looked over into his yard and there it was… his whole yard is dedicated to the Marines. I have absolutely no problem with people who are proud of their military background but this guy was obsessive. We walked back to our car and he followed us. Lushie screamed out (while holding Teaspoon) HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! he looked at her and said “ma’am” then turned and stared me down.  I think he must have been crushin on me. Yeah baby!

Yeah, we’re not taking that house.

More later on what happened this weekend. If you already know shush!

Last Thursday night was emotional. The Mellon Arena is the only place I have ever watched a professional hockey game and last night I saw my last regular season game there before we move over to the Consol Energy Center in the fall. I admit, I held back tears seeing some of the former greats come back for one last time on the ice, even for Craig Patrick. I’ve hung out with Eddie Johnson a few times (we had lunch once which stories were told that are more than epic) so seeing the light on him was moving and Gary Roberts was an absolute plus but seeing Super Mario was euphoric. He’s made appearances before but last night, at that moment, you knew that all 17,132 of us were in the presence of greatness.

I went to the game with my nephew/godson Ben and we made sure to get there early, granted we’re both going to playoff games but this night was special and nothing was going to stop us from enjoying every moment of the night.

Hats off to the team for the videos they played as often as possible. Classic commercials that 90% of the fans probably don’t remember from the mid-late 80′s, cheesy KDKA “LETS GO PENS” spots and montages of players form the 90′s/00′s, like the man I came to see… Martin Straka.

That was the only downside to the night for me was the production. I know some players first of all couldn’t be there but I really would have loved it if Straka, Jagr, Moran and a few others were there. The opening ceremony was just the into of the 50 former Pens, which don’t get me wrong was fantastic, but if you’ve been to any Penguins event in the last couple years you know they go balls to the wall and this was *meh*.

Bob gave me the best reasoning of anyone online who didn’t get their panties in a wad over my thoughts. The banner raising will go down as the coolest thing I have ever seen at the arena. I just figured that this should have deserved the same amount of attention especially when you have a full year to plan for it.  It was announced that there would be a special ceremony at the end of the game along with the “Oh my god this is so fucking long” Shirts off our Backs tradition.

Quick thing about that if I may. 1) I REALLY appreciate that the Pens do this. I think its a badass that they take the time to give back in this unique way 2) All of you who threw the jersey you were wearing over the glass for players to sign, you’re not getting those back. You’re all fools. There’s a time and place to get autographs. When you see 20 jerseys being thrown at Crosby did you honestly think he would hand deliver it back? 3) its waaaaayyyyy tooooo looonnnggggg

The only reason why I endured the pain of watching the Shirts gig is so I could see what they had for a grand finale and all I got was a 7 minute video recap of the arena and a somewhat decent light show. Again something felt like it was missing. The WOW factor and after reading what Bob said above I have to agree. I’ve been spoiled by what they’ve already done for me.

I’ll never forget this night and the time to hang out with my nephew. Someday I’ll talk about it to my son and how powerful the night was. The Pens have put most of the videos on their website so you can get caught up there.

Thank you Mellon Arena for a great ride. I’ll be by a couple more times for the playoffs but that night you shined.

Oh yeah, Jimmy Mann wasn’t there either. I think he heard I was looking for him

The Burger King Whopper is hands down my favorite fast food burger of all time.  You mess with it and I get stabby. Throw some bacon on it and we could have a potential kegger in the belly. Or at least that’s what I thought when I saw the sign for it.

What you see above is a medium value meal priced at $7.59 That seemed a bit much but knowing how delicious a Whopper can be I figured the higher price was due to the bacon. Since I review craft beers lets take that approach.

Visibility
The first thing I noticed, the cheese is barely even melted. I’d expect this from a mom and pop joint not the King. Scratch that, anyone who knows how to grill a damn burger knows how to melt the cheese. The bacon is then totally worthless in this because of all the crap they piled on top and the beef patty is thinner than anything I’ve seen from a McDonalds. See, this is why I hate when you mess with a classic. Not to mention that it looks like someone sat on it before they wrapped it.

Aroma
Its a burger.

Taste
The only way to recreate this would be to get a bottle of ketchup, a bottle of mayo and squeeze both in your mouth while trying to eat meat. No bacon taste whatsoever. I didn’t even notice the lettuce until I edited the pictures

Body
I pulled out (I giggled too, go ahead) my trusty Handy Manny tape measure and wasnt shocked this was under 2 inches.

The regular Whopper, in all of its gloriousness, is a solid 3-4 inches of burger perfection.

*sigh* Burger King you have failed me.

Spoon rating: D

Here is a memory from my first ever professional hockey game which was during the 87-88 season. I grew up in Erie so see hockey above the Erie Golden Blades level wasn’t much of an option. I was 12 and my brother was living in Pittsburgh working for the Pirates. He figured out with my parents that I would be able to come visit for the weekend and see a professional hockey game. I don’t recall the team they played and think I still have the ticket somewhere in my mom’s attic but the highlight was 2 fold. First it was the first time I ever saw troughs for bathrooms and also it was the night I met Jimmy Mann.

My brother and I got to our seats and right away I tried to follow the action. We were sitting up in the D level and that was higher than anything available at the Erie Civic Center. I’m the only member of my family who’s really been into hockey so I knew that asking typical kid questions about the sport weren’t going to be answered. That’s when they guy next to myself started chatting me up. He was explaining everything to me about icing, penalties, the slot, why the goalie comes out and other misc. things. At the end of the 1st intermission my bro left and came back with a few snacks. When he sat back down the guy said to us “Do you know who I am?”. We were both oblivious. My bro was a basketball and baseball guy and heck I was only 12. He said “I play for the Pens. I’m Jimmy Mann.” I thought “yeah right, buddy” but then again in 87/88 I only knew Mario because I read about him in Kids Sports Illustrated. From what I recall he was on the DL or some jazz like that but he showed me his picture in either the program or heck he probably kept articles about himself in his pocket since he did only get 9 games in a Pens uniform.

As bad luck would have it I excused myself and ended up falling ill to arena food for the 2nd period. I returned to my seat in the 3rd and found out that Jimmy had left. My bro told me that Jimmy sends his wishes that I’d feel better and would send me an autographed stick. While I waited for this stick that summer Jimmy managed to hit up my bro on multiple occasions for free tickets to the Pirates games.

Months turned into years and a heartbroken 12yr old realized he was never going to get the stick. Thankfully it didn’t turn into a grudge that all pro athletes were jagoffs until I met jerk pack Barry Bonds and Bobby Bonilla. I did keep a soft spot for hockey though.

Over the years the story turned into a joke between my brother and I. “You have a better chance to get that Jimmy Mann stick than to <insert ANYTHING>.” Currently it’s “You have a better chance to get that Jimmy Mann stick than the Pirates do reaching .500!” In fact anytime we crack jokes a “f’n jimmy mann” gets thrown in there.

I have a son now and I tell him stories of going to the arena and early hockey days. Granted he’s 13 months old but its never too early to start them, right? I’m sure when he gets a little older and he starts understanding the sport more that the Jimmy Mann story will come up.

Right now as I’m shopping for our first house I would like nothing more than to mount that stick with pride in my future residence along side a picture of me with Jimmy but for now it’ll end like this…

Here we are, 22 years later, and I’m still waiting for that stick.

I think he’s having fun