The last time I stepped foot on a golf course was my bachelor party in October of 2005. My clubs once belonged to my brother so they’re at least 15-20 years old. My driver is the only relatively new addition and that was 9 years ago from my dad. Since then I tried three times to get out with the end result of 2 rain outs and 1 snow out. I took this as a sign that maybe I should give it up and find another sport to consume my time… I took up Curling.
Now, 3.5 years later, I have spent back to back weekends golfing at Cranberry Highlands. The original reason for my un-retirement was my friend Jeff was getting married and it was part of the bachelor party. Who’s going to deny a bachelor party right? The following weekend was an impromptu gathering of Yinz Team with Shireman, OtherWhiteJim and Woy on a picture perfect day.
Here is what I learned about myself and the sport.
- I’ll never EVER even hint to having golf skills. Weekend 1 I shot a 123 and the 2nd was 111. I did, however, hit par a few times, rimmed a cup for birdie and missed an eagle by inches… and then rummed the cup again.
- I had fun. When you surround yourself with friends you can’t go wrong. If any one of them would have been hardcore serious I would be missing my 3 Wood. You can guess how.
- If there is sand on a hole I will not only land in it, I’ll bring a towel and sunblock because I could be there awhile
- If there is water… see above.
- Apparently I can hit my 5 iron like a beast while my driver makes the ball slice, dice and hook. Strangest thing I tell ya!
- “Rangers” are mere distractions to bug you into putting faster.
- If you hit into us because we’re slow, I understand. If you hit into us because we’re slow and there is a group on the green putting I reserve the right to hit your ball back at you with my sniper of a 5 Iron.
- Apparently golf carts can ride on 2 wheels. I saw it done. Seriously. Wasn’t me.
- Don’t forget to tip your beer girl (not me but I’m looking at some of you out there)
- Exploding golf balls are why mine carry the mark of the spoon.
- bring cigars