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Lushie’s Driving Lesson 101

April 25th, 2008 Leave a comment Go to comments
There comes a time in every married bloggers life when their significant other needs to blow off some steam and do it on your blog. My wife, the beloved Lushie, needs vent her frustration over her morning drive today. This probably won’t be her last…

**** Lushie’s Driving Lesson 101 ****
1. The pedal on the right is the gas, it makes you go. The pedal on the left is the break, it makes you stop. If you have two pedals on the left the smallest is the clutch. If you do not know how to use the clutch pull over immediately.
2. Red means stop, even if you are in a SUV. Green means go. Yellow means caution. Yellow does not mean sit in the intersection.
3.The left lane on I-79 and I-279 is the “fast” lane. If you are not driving fast move over. This is also known as the passing lane not the “fix your make-up lane”.
4. Stop signs regardless of the white line around it means STOP. This means that if you have a car in front of you that is stopped then you must also stop. Now here is the kicker with the stop sign; even if you stop for the car in front of you, YOU STILL HAVE TO STOP AT THE STOP SIGN! Just like in kindergarten you have to wait your turn.

Parking lessons:
1. If you can not parallel park then please don’t try.
2. If you dive an SUV, truck or van, you do not have a compact car. Regardless of what you feel you are entitled to, you can not fit properly in a compact car parking space.
3. If you are not handicap and you park in handicap parking YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE!

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    Categories: idiots, Pittsburgh
    • http://zeroface.wordpress.com Phil

      Ordinarily, I’d say someone has a case of the “Fridays” but I know that his crap happens every day of the week. It’s bad everywhere, Sister Lushie. I feel your pain.

      Great post. Well stated.

    • http://haveagoodsandwich.org Woy

      Lushie and I have kindred driving spirits.

    • http://normanhuelsman.com Norman Huelsman

      Vent on. I don’t drive that often but this weekend I had one question.

      Why must the whole city of Pittsburgh, seemingly, go under construction over night? Especially Bigalow Blvd and 376 Inbound.

    • http://douglasderda.com douglas

      I guess the next thing would be to show her how to reply to comments. She did say over the weekend that she needs a place to vent. I may need to make her own section soon.

      Phil – you’ve heard Lushie yell before. Imagine being in teh car while it happens.

      Woy – She’s had to get books on CD to listen while driving so she doesn’t get out and kill someone. I wish I could have recorded some of her calls.

      Norm – PennDOT blows. Driving down for the Pens game sucked yesterday. For anyone who hasn’t tried to go from Wexford-ish to 279N needs to drive this. In fact I need a video to show the most mucked up detour system ever. I’m surprised there aren’t more wrecks.