Today’s post comes from that wild and crazy jagoff, John Chamberlin of Ya Jagoff! fame, and is part of a special day of shenanigans from other Pittsburgh Bloggers. You can see my post over on Josh’s World, where one night at a Pirates game as a teenager brought me face-to-face with my mortal enemy.
Happy April Fools’ Day!
When given the assignment to write a post for Doug’s blog, I instantly began to sweat, border on incontinence and feel overwhelmed and intimidated.
Weekend home-brewer, former stay-at-home-dad, social media professional, web guy, craft beer advocate, podcaster, rookie genealogist, grilling addict, Back to the Future and 80s/90s pop culture techno weenie.
Weekend/weekday drinker of homebrews or whatever else is cold/free, work from home dad, social media hack who always has to call a “web guy” when I have a problem, been on podcasts and listen to many..typically something superficial and silly vs. life-changing, usually have to copy/paste words like genealogy from the Google dictionary so they are spelled correctly, grilling addict (one common thread) and simply…a weenie… no techno or pop culture to preface it!
Doug has even won some awards for his work. Me? I still have a 4th grade math paper hung on my fridge because it has 5 gold stars on it. (To be honest, the one on the fridge is a scan. The original, like the Shroud of Turin, is kept under laminated bulletproof glass in an airtight case and stored in my fire box, along other important papers, so that nothing can happen to it.)
So how was I going to ever stand in for Doug? The pressure was great.
I started by watching my video interview with Doug from a couple of years ago to try and get a couple of ideas and then it hit me! Let’s go completely out of comfort zone (and intelligence level)….let’s talk 3D printers because…..well…after drinking 3 beers and watching 3,021 videos of them, I thought I could. And, since Doug is a techno weenie… I might actually impress him.
Here are my findings: I want a 3D printer at home. It can take the place of my at-home-mail-scale-meter that sits next to the fax machine. (I ain’t getting rid of the fax machine…cuz I still have 4 cases of thermal paper for that thing!)
Aaaand…if I had a 3D printer, here’s what I’d print:
- Some of them will print human organs in the future. Mine would print a new brain for people that Doug loves to hate: People that have no idea how to drive in the Pittsburgh rain.
- Bacon.. thick, well-done, bacon
- Amish clothes for high-school aged girls. Reason? When my daughter was first born, I swore that I would become a world renowned fashion designer by the time she was in high school and assure ALL OTHER FATHERS that I would make the Amish look (covered neck to ankle) cool before she became of age. I missed my window of opportunity but I can still help other fathers, by showing how cool it would be to print and wear clothes.. even Amish clothes.
- Christmas tree lights…new one’s every year. Chuck the old ones with the tree!
- 25 more printers so that I can print all of the letters of the alphabet instead of just s “D’s.”
One last thing… “if I had a 3D printer….” should be the 2015 remake of the Peter, Paul and Mary song, “If I Had a Hammer.”
(You’re welcome for the ear worm!)
Enjoy April Fool’s Day. What would YOU print on a 3D printer?
We are taking part in a Pittsburgh wide blogger exchange. Here’s a list of everyone taking part if you’d like to see the rest of the mayhem going around the city!
The AP Collection – Beezus Kiddo – Pittsburgh Happy Hour – Orange Chair Blog – In Pursuit of Simple – Lucy Quin – The Wheezy Runner – Pittsburgh is Beautiful – Last Minute Panic – The Almond Eater – A Body of One’s Own – Lunges, Long Runs and Lattes – Downtown Living Emily Levenson – Parmesan Princess – Oh Honestly, Erin – Sole for the Soul – Crank Crank Revolution – The Pittsburgh Mommy Blog – Yum Yum PGH Ya Jagoff – Gardening in High Heels – Sean’s Ramblings – Pittsburgh Taste Buds – The Foodtasters – My Blog n’at – The Fashionable Eye – jelly jars – Don’t Forget to Eat – Small Town Dad – Josh’s World – The Steel Trap – In Pursuit of Happiness – 101 Achievements – A Librarian’s Lists and Letters – Pennies, Pints, Pittsburgh – 30-Something therapy – Red Pen Mama – Nicky D. Cooks – everybody loves you…